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Stenger purchases new tie

Even before he takes office, new University President Harvey G. Stenger has already made a splash.

In his first important move, Stenger announced he will purchase a new necktie on the first of the year, his first day in office.

Stenger, who already has a wide variety of neckties, said it’s never too soon to start thinking about the future.

"I think I have too many striped ties," Stenger said in a press conference Sunday. "I need more solid ties definitely, maybe even a bow tie or polka dot tie, just to spice things up.

But Stenger already faces a few road blocks. Between Boscovs, The Salvation Army Thrift Store and the Oakdale Mall, he isn’t sure which retailer will benefit the University the most. However, he isn’t trying to over-think it.

"It’s a difficult decision, but ultimately I don’t really give a shit," he said. "I’m making $380,000 a year."

Departing president C. Peter Magrath told Stenger that purchasing a new tie “isn’t a big fucking deal.”

"Seriously? It’s just a tie," Magrath said.

Stenger said he plans to keep the nature of his new tie unknown until the start of the spring semester.